MONTREAL, July 1 - Canada Day returns. A day when Canadians of all colors, creeds, and credit ratings dance, sing and thank God for the War of 1812. Quizzed for greater meaning amid the fireworks though, many Canadians soon admit that much of what it means to be Canadian revolves around what it means not to be "American" – a serial misnomer given that there is no nation of "America." (Go ahead, check any atlas for any nation-state ever named "America.") Pressed to far, many Canadians will eventually spiral into a gut-spilling spiel about their inherent dullness. Why? Among the most popular theories:

1) Like a Shia' Muslim whipping his back during Ramadan, ritual Canada bashing is the only true path
to true Canadiana?
2) Telling people you're dull might preempt them from agreeing?
3) Canadians are too dull to realize they're no duller than everyone else?

Experts polled this year agreed on explanation # 3. Here's why: As the French are surly, the Italians are unreliable, and as the Swiss spend every waking hour repairing cuckoo clocks, Canadians are unquestionable dullards. But compared with whom exactly? Swedes? The Macon County Elks? Pete Sampras? No. Compared to The United States of America - the richest, most powerful nation in history. Further, the record demonstrates that "Americans" are full of daring and dynamism, high-stakes and heart-breaks. Just ask an accountant in Akron, realtor in Reno, lineman for the county in Wichita, or anyone doing anything in Duluth.

Everyone knows life in America runs a madcap gauntlet, from managing leisure-ware at Wall-Mart to clicking keyboards at Citibank. Canadians can hop across the border to see this whirlwind first hand, from retirees nibbling early-bird specials in Hollywood, Florida to older men on the take dating younger woman on the make in Hollywood, California.

Then there is New York.

Not the rabble populating the Uticas and Buffalos of the world. I'm talkin' Gotham. The city. And not the Buttafuccolands of Queens or Long Island. I mean Manhattan. No. Not an urban backwater like Bensonhurst or Harlem, or the drone-zone that is Mid-Town. I mean cool-cutting-edge-New York. Forward brushed haircuts, Herman Munster shoes, rim reinforced glasses with yellow tints - even for people who don't need glasses - all out to eat expensive tiny dinners on cheap satellite-dish sized dinner plates.

Check any magazine editor operating from a windowless cubicle or investment banker crunching 20 hours a day over a desktop. The Big Apple is the-center-of-everything. That means Big Applites are at-the-center-of-everything. They wake up, take showers, ride the subway, work at desks, eat lunch, work at desks, ride the subway, repeat.

A very famous man put it best when he famously said, “as does Gotham, so goes America.” No famous man ever said anything like that about Canada.

So what is it that makes the southern 48 so different? First, the people - Land of the Free, Home of the Brave, Nation of Rugged Individuals, eating Olestra and taking advice from Martha Stewart. Second - and more important - Canadians say so.

Reflecting over an iced latte on this sunny Canada Day with a select circle of internationally concerned cohorts, we conclude Canadians appear less dull than neurotic; like a supercilious cousin who held his open palm over an open flame if he missed just one word on his third-grade spelling bee while the rest of the class with half the marks went out to play kick-the-can.

Now an accomplished adult but still fascinated by imperfection, cousin Canada still sucks his thumb and wets the bead while rugged individuals across the border pop cold ones, munch Krispy Kremes, cheer the WWF, and still find time to spin excellent myths.