iSLAM SAm

FALLSBURG, NY. Feb. 21 – Serving his 365-year sentence here at the Sullivan Correctional Facility for the 1976-77 murders of what became known as the Son of Sam killings, David Berkowitz announced he’s establishing an organization he calls “Islam Sam” to study “murder messages from Allah.” At his sensational trial 25 years ago, Berkowitz testified he executed victims on instructions from a dog he called Sam.

Today, Berkowitz speculates he followed instructions from Sam the same way assassins attacking the World Trade Center and kidnappers murdering Wall Street reporter Daniel Pearl followed instructions from Allah. Berkowitz traces the legacy of what he calls “message murderers” back to Charles Manson. “The Beatles talked to Charlie, then Sam talked to me. Now Allah talks to Al Qaeda. I’d like to meet Big Al. Compare notes.”

Berkowitz says he is inviting Al Qaeda to join Islam Sam in an effort to promote the organization as a center for murderers of all faiths in all countries. Up for parole later this year, Berkowitz is asking the parole board to take his international outreach into account. “I feel a great bond with so many people in our global village. We may live in different corners of the planet but we share the heartfelt belief that murder is OK if you can offer an interesting reason for committing it.”

The Son of Sam killer predicts Islam Sam will attract wide appeal. “I can see I.S. chapters connecting killers in Ulster with their brethren in places like Rwanda and in most any part of the Balkans” Berkowitz says with a smile. He looks forwards to the unfolding United Nations war crimes trial of former Serbia president Slobodan Milosevic, hoping the Balkan leader gives message-murderers a credibility boost. “I mean there’s a nice looking man in a nice suit and tie explaining how he had to order mass murder, rape, torture, whatever it took. I’m sure we’ll learn he followed authoritative voices too.”

Berkowitz says “world-class” killers from Milosevic to Muhammad Atta will finally separate the message-murderers from the “riff-raff” who kill the likes of cashier clerks during banal crimes like store robberies. “The pistol and ski mask crowd always gave killing a bad name. They kill for cash. We kill for a reason. That’s what makes us special. That’s what will give Islam Sam an important voice of its own.”


Yours Truly,

Xandor
Copy Boy In-Chief


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