TORONTO, July 1 - By popular demand, Canada Day is back. A day when Canadians of all colors, creeds, and credit ratings dance, sing and thank God for the War of 1812. Quizzed for greater meaning amid the fireworks though, many Canadians soon admit that much of what it means to be Canadian revolves around what it means not to be "American" – a serial misnomer given that there is no nation of "America." (Go ahead, check any atlas for any nation-state ever named "America.") Pressed too hard, many Canadians will spiral into a gut-spilling spiel about their inherent dullness. Why? The most popular theories ...

1) Like a Shia' Muslim whipping himself during Ramadan, Canada bashing is the only true path to true Canadiana?
2) Telling people you're dull might preempt them from agreeing?
3) Canadians are too dull to realize they're no duller than everyone else?

Experts polled this year agreed on explanation # 3. Here's why: As the French are surly, the Italians are unreliable, and as the Swiss spend every waking hour repairing cuckoo clocks, Canadians are confirmed dullards. But compared with whom exactly? Swedes? Pete Sampras? Old Uncle Philbert? No. Compared to The United States of America - the richest, most powerful nation in history. "Americans" are daring and dynamic, the chosen people of high-stakes and heart-breaks. Just ask an accountant in Akron, realtor in Reno, lineman for the county in Wichita, or anyone doing anything in Duluth.

Everyone knows life in the U.S.A. runs a madcap gauntlet from managing leisure-ware at Wall-Mart to clicking keyboards at Citibank. Canadians can cross the border to see this stars-and-stripes whirlwind first hand - from retirees nibbling early-bird specials in Hollywood, Florida to older men on the take dating younger woman on the make in Hollywood, California.

Then there is New York.

Not the rabble populating the Uticas and Buffalos of the world. I'm talkin' Gotham. The city. And not the Buttafuccolands of Queens or Long Island. I mean Manhattan. And not its urban backwaters like Bensonhurst or Harlem, or its commuter cluttered drone-zone called Mid-Town. I mean cool-cutting-edge-Manhatten ... about 17 city blocks: bowl cuts; Munster shoes; rim reinforced glasses with yellow tints; small dinners on satellite-dish dinner plates; complicated films.

Check any magazine editor operating from a windowless cubicle or investment banker crunching 20 hours a day over a desktop. The Big Apple is the-center-of-everything. That means Big Applites are at-the-center-of-everything. They wake up, take showers, ride the subway, work at desks, eat lunch, work at desks, ride the subway, repeat.

A very famous man put it best when he famously said, “as does Gotham, so goes the USA.” No famous man ever said anything like that about Canada.

So what makes the 50 states so great? First, the people - Land of the Free, Home of the Brave, Nation of Rugged Individuals - eating Olestra while checking TV listings for advice from Martha Stewart. Second - and more important - Canadians say so.

Reflecting with a select circle of concerned cohorts sipping doll house cups of latte this sunny Canada Day , Canadians seem more like a supercilious cousin who held his open palm over an open flame if he missed just one word on his third-grade spelling bee while the rest of the class scoring half that grade ran out to play kick-the-can.

Now an accomplished adult but still fascinated by imperfection, cousin Canada sucks his thumb and wets the bead while rugged individuals across the border munch Krispe Kreme, cheer the WWF, and still find time to spin excellent myths.