NEW YORK, June 18 – Now you can trigger a virtual screaming match with Jack Nicholson. A contributor to Howard Stern's syndicated radio show has gathered what seems like every movie line that actor Jack Nicholson ever yelled, from “You can’t handle the truth” to “Heeerrre’s Johnny.” Listeners call in to “talk” with Jack then hear one of the pre-recorded Jack lines yell back. It’s a big hit. So big that money mavens are calculating ways to expand on the idea. ScreedMe has uncovered 10 recent suggestions:

•“Blarney Billie” – Replete with authoritative tones and emphatic language, Bill Clinton fibs in progressively ingenious ways. Callers hear the former president devise cleverly deceptive answers to questions as apparently basic as “which direction does the sun rise and set each day?” Sample Answer: “Well, that depends on how direct the direction is.” (Note: NY residents are eligible to request “Double Duplicity” featuring Bill Clinton & Al Sharpton.)

•“You Think You’re So Smart” – Aspiring entry-level employees call different company job-lines to hear the panoply of mind-numbing tasks inflicted by resentful and fearful middle management overlings on menacingly energetic new workers who threaten to wield their talents beyond the mailroom.

•“Hey - I’m Dying Here” - Frenzied emergency 911 callers hear a dizzying pre-recorded menu of options ranging from garden care to auto repair before ... “press # for emergency assistance or if you wish to speak with an operator.”

•“Charge It” - New York men calling New York women for dates, endure a shower of questions about income, career prospects, and credit card limits. *Callers over 30 can hear bonus recordings that focus exclusively on the price of diamonds and the sorts of rings they best fit into*

•“My Girl Candy” - New York women calling New York men for dates, endure a peppering inquiry over their appearance, obedience, and willingness to engage in a lipstick brand of bi-sexuality, all in an effort to locate the best rent-a-trophy for the month. * Female participants must first sign a pre-nup. No exceptions*

•“Declasse” - New Yorkers of any gender calling Paris asking for “ the best McDonald’s in Europe” hear a punishing series of Yankee-get-off-the-line putdowns from perma-annoyed Francais miffed they wasted so much time developing the rarely used Concord instead of building the overused SUVs they are so quick to deride.

•“Fuck You Frenchie” - Parisians calling the Big Apple to set it straight are splattered with a Pepe le Pew cliché cascade obsessing over the French record in WWII and ending with an international challenge that pits Jean-Marie Le Pen against Pat Buchanan for the angry white guy arm-wrestling championship of the world.

•“Yes Sir Yasir” – Callers asking Yasir Arafat to explain why he passed up the Clinton brokered 2000 peace deal offering Palestinians near 1967 borders with Israel hear, “if it weren’t for those damned Jews, a bright and bountiful West Bank would take its natural place as the Bali of the Middle East and East Jerusalem would quickly rival Stockholm for urban order and civil liberty.”

•“Don’t Call Me Fatso” – Callers asking Ariel Sharon to explain Sabra & Shatila hear, “if it weren’t for those damned Arabs, a Zen and poetic Likud would make Israel the ‘Sweetheart State’ of the Middle East and West Jerusalem would quickly rival Philadelphia as the ‘city of brotherly love.’”

•“We Had Orders” - Impoverished Third-World denizens calling Switzerland for plundered money deposited in secret Swiss accounts by numerous nefarious dictators hear an automatic response: “Why do you call? We are simple people of cheese and mountains, makers of fine clocks and white chocolate. You were not there. You cannot know what it was like. We did what we could … uh, pardon me please, this must be the message on stolen Jewish art. Fredrique, I ask again, please change this tape!”