New York Times November 6, 2003 - President Bush today signed an $87.5 billion aid package for Iraq and Afghanistan, after likening the Iraq campaign to the prolonged cold war and declaring that a free, stable Iraq would help defeat terrorism, just as America's generosity after World War II had helped the cause of freedom.
This e-mail is your chance to lend the president some first-hand support and get in on his action. You’ve heard the libs whine about the $87.5 billion it’s going to cost to begin rebuilding Iraq over the next year, and you know they’ll try to make high hey out of it in the election. Well, as Bush backers, war supporters, and upper income earners, we can knock this one out of the campaign park. Who pays? My friends - we do.

That’s right – we, the Fivers Club. The nation’s top 5% of income earners. The IRS says $127,904 a year makes you a member. Polls show most of us cheered when President Bush said, “American and coalition forces are sacrificing for the peace of Iraq and for the security of free nations." Damn right they are, and we Fivers aren’t going to be shut out.

We like the war, we’ve got the money, and of course we want to sacrifice. Well, here’s how. The IRS www.irs.com reports we paid $472,823,000,000 (rounded to the nearest $100-thousand) in 2001 taxes on our collective income that year of more than $1,996,492,000,000. Factor in our well-deserved tax cuts since, then do the math. If we put our assets where our cheers are were we could pay off Iraq’s $87.5 billion and still have about $1,908,992,000,000 left. (Even if we kick in an extra $4 to $5 billion to cover the club’s uncooperative Hollywood crowd and Kennedy type holdouts we’ll still have more than $1.9 trill left). Guys - we can pay for Iraq, keep the squash club, the beach house, and the ski trip to Vail!

Now I know what you’re saying. Hey, instead why not take back all the food stamps and welfare checks those stupid libs always dole out to lazy Black folks? That should cover the Iraq bill just fine. OK - But first, it’s too damn dangerous to collect those stamps and checks. We’re talking about very, very violent people here. Ever read about this guy Sug Knight? Second, in a way they’re already ahead of us. The Black kids I mean. I’ve looked into it. While Negroes make up about 13% of our population they add up to like 30% of U.S. ground troops. Fact is Black guys are crawling all over Iraq. It’s as if we hired them to fight for us. Wild eh?

Which brings me to my second idea. Don’t we want our own boots on that ground? Let’s remember something else President Bush said. “No enemy or friend can doubt that America has the resources and the will to see this war through to victory." The resources and the will – that’s us. Land of the Free, Home of the Brave, Remember the Alamo, One Nation Under ... etc.…

I know. I know. The kids have Saturday soccer practice, the lawn needs mulching, and the SUV needs a tune-up. And I won’t even mention that if “they” want to work here so badly, why not send those illegal Mexicans over to mix it up in Basra? War would teach them dignity, self-reliance, and new skills. I’m with you.

Look, I’m not saying we actually leave the country and ditch our lawns or quit our jobs. Bonus season is right around the corner after all. What I am saying is, we can lend some part-time first-hand support, like joining the military reserves. If that’s a bit much what about volunteering at a local VA hospital, or offering to help the family of a soldier fighting overseas. Thanks to Bush we’re already going to save $6 billion in wasteful veterans benefits next year. He tried to save us $28 billion – hello, our club’s tax cut has to come from somewhere - but those congressional lefties strong-armed him. Marxists!

Anyway, the president’s words say it all. "Our investment in the future of Afghanistan and Iraq is the greatest commitment of its kind since the Marshall Plan." The Marshall Plan. Now that’s history. Real history. Raise your hand if you don’t want to be part of history? And the illegals? I just don’t think they’re up to it. They seem like very disorganized people. Plus, they can’t seem to speak English.

Look, the war is a great idea. It’s our chance to bring freedom to a bunch of people who spell it j-i-h-a-d. Just think of all the lucky guys who brought back stories of delivering freedom in WWII, Korea, Vietnam, Gulf War I. Well, here’s our chance to carve out our own slice of liberty pie. Think, do we want to sit home watching someone else hog the heroics on TV?

By electing GW we saved this country from the weak knees of Al Gore. And we all know where we’d be if he were in the White House. Right here at home, that’s where, without so much as a single heroics hog to watch on TV. Well guess what Al - freedom ain’t free. President Bush made that clear. "Freedom is worth fighting for, dying for, and standing for." Fighting for, dying for, standing for ... or at least paying for. Right on! Who’s first?