Screed Readers Respond:

Dear Copy Boy -

Please delete.

S. Sailor

Dear Copy Boy -

These are funny. You're so Andy Borowitz!

Good job!

Reacting to Summar 2003 ...

Dear copy Boy -

... a very, very funny issue. The first three pieces are really terrific. I was either tired of laughing by then or the MSNBC one doesn't quite pop in the same way (sort of like a late-in-the-show Saturday Night Live skit). But congrats, this is impressive stuff.


Dear Copy Boy -

Following "Hey Dummy - Look at Me."

This little whore loving bowl cut molester (Kim Jong Il) is not going to do shit. Two faced cannot have your cake and it too. S. Korea just got religion so will Japan, China
and Russia. Shut the hell up. We finally have a real leader in the White House who reminds me of a another great President RR.

Kiss my ass, Jay

Dear Copy Boy -

I don't know what they fed you when you were a young pup (well actually I do), but it seems to have affected your equilibrium. Xander the copy boy is one thing, but why is that attractive secret service agent yelling at you and pulling your arm off the ex-president? Is she just jealous? (ref: "What I Meant To Say"/ December 2000)

It is good to see you work off your aggressions in a positive manner through your screaming therapy site. I am glad to see that you haven't lost your edge.

Michael D.

Xander -

Rolling in the aisles over here ... You da bomb!

XO E l e a n o r

Following "It's Not Legal It's CEO" edition ...


CEO of the The Edward B. Chalmers Sign Company

Dear Copy Boy -

Very funny (It's Not Legal It's CEO) though you clearly missed the love interest angle in the Jack
Welch show. How could you resist!


Copy Boy Responds: Check the revised Screed

Dear Copy Boy -

I don't get it.

Name withheld

Dear Copy Boy -

Please delete.


Copy Boy responds: Delete complete.

Dear Copy Boy -



Copy Boy responds: I smell a contribution

Dear Copy Boy -
I am so fu#*ing mad. There seems to be an evolving habit of using well-established songs for TV commercials. The first to catch my ear is Cadillac's use of Led Zeppelin. Now every time I hear the wonderful guitar riffs and lyrics, "It’s been a long time since I rock 'n' rolled ...” I can't help from think of those damn Cadillac's.

What gives these corporate bastards the right to use some of my favorite songs? Did the record companies or maybe Michael Jackson - who seems to own everyone’s music - sell it to buy more exotic animals. I doubt Jimmy Page or Robert Plant freely gave the rights to Cadillac to use their music.

And it's not just Zeppelin. Nissan is using Jimie Hendrix. I think Rockers need to form a committee and go to Congress to inform it of this travesty. We must keep classic music pure and untainted by commercially driven motives on the part of the commercially driven world. We must preserve Rock for posterity.

Roy Zoellner

The Copy Boy Responds:
Riffng all the way to the bank … My guess is that Page and Plant are being well compensated for their commercial contribution and are as thrilled to be selling Cadillacs as James Brown is thrilled to be selling laxatives.

Dear Copy-Boy -
Regarding your recent e-mail that went something like; "Taliban, Faliban, Caliban. Perhaps Shakespeare knew more than he let on." (Copy-Boy Note: Not exactly but close enough) Or some such thought. Due to the fact that I did not understand your reference I decided to look up this "Caliban" you flippantly referred to. The dictionary entry is as follows; "Cal·i·ban n. The satellite of Uranus that is 16th in distance from the planet. [After Caliban, the slave in Shakespeare's The Tempest.]"

I then perused the halls of my most noble library and came upon quite a few valuable resources for delving to the bottom of the parallel between the Taliban and Caliban. I found an insightful book devoted to the mysterious character that is Caliban. And I also found a few copies of The Tempest, which I read on the toilet (as is my custom.)
I thank you for drawing this parallel to my attention; the beast that is Caliban is an apropos simile to the Taliban: the beast that rapes the ideal of women; a disgusting monster (perhaps misunderstood, but without redeeming qualities), and one without loyalties or morals. Perhaps I have it wrong, but I think you had it right.
Ian Q. Rowan


Copy-Boy responds:
ScreedMe has long been dedicated to the advance of Shakespeare, if not at least finding the Calibans among us.



Dear Copy Boy -
The National Italian American Foundation applauds copyboy in chief for his collection of "high concept" treatments offered to the television industry to help ensure it will be an "equal opportunity" offender to America's mosaic of ethnic, religious and racial groups. On a more serious note, we here at the Foundation only wish that more journalists would take a stand similar to yours and call for a stop to the unfair, unbalanced, and untrue portrayal of Italian Americans by the US entertainment industry. The contributions, inventions, and sacrifices Italian Americans have offered this country are enormous but largely unknown to the American public who has instead been fed a steady diet of Mafia cliches. We have a new study on ITALIAN AMERICANS IN US HISTORY AND CULTURE, which we offer free to all who send us a LARGE (9x12), stamped ($1.65) self addressed envelope. Thank you, copy boy in chief!

Dona De Sanctis

Director, Research & Cultural Affairs
NIAF 1860 - 19th St.
NW Washington, DC 20009

The Copy Boy Responds:
For the latest in Hollywood Italo-bashing be sure to tune into the CBS ethnic ground breaking mini-series, "Falcone."


Hey Copy-Boy-

I just received a link to your site from Screaming Media (a company that my
website - well, partially my website - also syndicates content to).  Anyway,
I'm just writing to say that I dig what you're doing.  It's not so far off
from our mission at . Or should I say our emission (as in
nocturnal, as in random spurts...but whatever.)  Regardless, I think you'd
like our site. Check it out, and I don't mean that in any ridiculous
marketing sort of way.

Thanks.  Keep up the sarcastic banter.  Makes me happy.

Sincerely (about half the time),

Jessica Piazza

Managing Editor

Dear Copy Boy

Good job, I would say, add a chat room and a couple of short thoughts for the day - expand the warm-fuzzy quality of the site, and I will become a regular. I read Today's Screed - the MTV piece. Good. I had to scroll through most of it because I am tired of the watered-down version of MTV that exists today. My opinion of the subject matter discolored the piece.

Emily N.

Dear Copy Boy -

Keep up the good work, and keep people like me residing in this provincial city of Washington, jealous with your tales of debauchery and wonderment in the Big Apple.


The Copy Boy Responds:
Damn, someone must have access to my midnight 900 calls.

Dear Copy Boy -

Xandor, you're magnificent.

Sarah R

The Copy Boy Responds:

Of course, yes. Yet, it is the words that speak. I can be but their vehicle.

Dear Copy Boy -

Drugs anybody? I checked the web site... WOW! Whatever or Where ever did this come from????

Geoff H

The Copy Boy Responds:

My excess is driven only by the elixir of life itself.

Dear Copy Boy -

Hey I saw that you wrote something about Gen-Xers not really being lazy, but I wanted to point out that I am in fact incredibly lazy, too lazy to even finish reading your article even though I am already slacking off at work to read it. It wouldn't even be a waste of time because I have to sit here anyway. Yet I lose interest almost immediately. Don't take this personally; it happens everywhere I go. People start talking to me and I get too bored to even figure out what they are trying to say, which as you can imagine is a bit of a problem with my girlfriend. I am too lazy to even take a shower, even though I like taking showers, despite ample free time sitting on my ass, and despite the knowledge that it would lead to more sex. I am too lazy for sex. I have always been this way too. When I was in school I was too lazy to get anything higher than a B in class, so my parents had to put me into a really difficult school so that I would have to work harder for the B. I was too lazy to make friends and I still am. If it wasn't for Coke I would sleep 18 hours a day, with the other six spent whining about how I am too lazy to make some food for myself to eat. I am not too lazy to look up pictures of Cristina Aguilera though; she is pretty hot.

Geoff Ciotti

Dear Copy Boy -

I know who you are Xandor and while the internet is probably the most harmless place for your endless ravings, I have a feeling it could easily lead to "other things." Don't act innocent either... Waco, the unabomber, GAP commercials etc. all started with an idea from a single individual in hopes of getting their point across. They too probably had disfunctional dinner table conversations. I'm forwarding your site information to various members of the establishment that you are turning your back on, so they can keep their eyes on you too. I do understand that the XXXXXXXX family loves to hear themselves talk, and there is no better way to fill the void when your not talking than to read stuff that you've written. Do you read your work on the can ... or before you go to bed? This was probably an ultimatum by XXXXXXXX. She wouldn't marry you unless you stopped talking and started typing. If so, I love her and tell her that I'm sending her a RING in the mail (that cheap bouquet of flowers you sent probably fell off her finger already). Good luck in prison and watch your back.

Love, Jonathan

The Copy Boy Responds:

It's good to know that Mr. Filbert is finally letting Jonathan out from the deep freezing section and into the deep fat frying produce section down at the Piggly Wiggly.

Dear Copy Boy -

I'm disappointed in your response to my feedback. Who is Mr. Filbert? Don't assume all of your "readers" are in tuned to your ravings. Not all of us "make water" while driving Ms. Daisy to the market. I'm gonna "make water" on you the next time I see you. Keep up the good work Netboy.


The Copy Boy Responds:

Explanation to readers -
Thanks to a grant from the CHUBB Corporation, Jonathan now benefits from hot tub therapy to treat his tourett syndrome affliction.


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