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nO MORE NADERs oCTOBER,
2000 - oNE
man - one
vote, the right to elect your governors, representative government as we
know it ... It's all under seige. Without some last minute change in attitude,
the entire nation stands in peril. Mortal disease, economic depression,
and nuclear weapons were one thing. Ralph Nader is another. Taking on General
Motors was great. But now he's overstepped his bounds. Ralph N. is taking
on Al G. And that paves an easier path for George W.
Gore supporters have a practical answer. Ralph should quit. Simple enough,
but an obscure constitutional amendment outlaws political strategies that
have proven so practical in democracies like Kazakhstan. Sitting at home
alone the other night thumbing through my 70s collection of Mad and Penthouse
magazines, I considered a simpler answer. Ask George W. to quit.
Crazy maybe, but you must agree, it would help Al G.
Sitting back in this moment of grand self-revelation I soon realised
that might be too much to ask of a man who's greatest accomplishment to
date is giving up drunken binges at 40.
So instead I wondered if we could just ask Al to run a better campaign.
He's been itching to become president for five decades now. I'm sure he's
thought this thing through a few times.
Glancing at Miss August 1977 in a moment of further reflection brought
me new insight. No, I thought, keep it easy. George W. must be the one
to quit. Give Al what he deserves and return Ralph to annoying our coporate
overlords. Then we could all get back to operating the liberal democracy
that makes us the envy of the world.
Individual rights carry individual responsibilities and I had just excercised
mine. Feeling much better I moved on to Miss September.
Xandor
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