To: Hon. Tom DeLay House Majority Leader (fmr)
From: Your Advisor
Date: 24 October 2005
RE: The Power of a Smile

Mr. Majority Leader (former) let me first congratulate you on delaying your trial date by arguing that the prosecution has no right to prosecute.

If you saw what I saw sir, you saw Saddam Hussein do the same thing the day before in Baghdad. I especially love the way you denounced your judge then demanded a new one. Saddam did the same thing and got a delay just like you sir. I guess that’s what they call globalism.

Now sir, about your mug shot, and pretty much all the other pictures of you in the court – nice smile. And a nice suit too. Very nice. See, that tells those liberals, A Ha – who’s laughing now liberal? You think you got me. But it is I who have got you. So to speak.

See, that’s where a guy like Saddam goes wrong. He scowls. Like he really is on trial. Not you, sir. No sir. Why in that mug-shot you looked just like you did after you sold me that used car a ways back. Remember? It don’t run anymore. But that’s OK. It was the thought that counts, right?

And look here - why shouldn’t you smile? You got yourself some new eyes I see. Now that’s a good reason to smile if ever there was one. Wrinkle-free eyes to go with your wind-resistant hair. For my book, that’s a-keeper-out-of-jailer, despite those pesky charges on conspiring to funnel illegal corporate campaign contributions into the Texas legislative elections in 2002. Money laundering. Big deal. At least you work for a living, not collecting welfare.

See sir, that’s what those liberals will never understand – the power of a smile and a nice suit.

---