TO: Mr. President
FROM: Your Advisor
DATE: 14 July 2005
RE: Rove to Scotus

MR. PRESIDENT –

IT’S BASTILLE DAY SIR. LET’S FREE ASSOCIATE … SUPREME COURT - KARL ROVE.

WHO BETTER TO UNDERSTAND THE LEGAL SYSTEM THAN THE MAN WHO MIGHT SOON UNDERSTAND JAIL – FROM THE INSIDE.

ROVE IS WHITE, HE’S BALD, HE’S ANGRY – SIR – HE IS OUR VOTER BASE - THAT SUBURB ON THE HILL WHERE FLAGS DON’T BURN, TAXES DON’T RISE, AND MEN DON’T DATE MEN – AT LEAST UNTIL THEY VISIT THE CITY.

OF COURSE, YOU COULD REPLACE SANDRA DAY O’CONNER WITH A WOMAN.

BUT A MAN LIKE ROVE CAN BETTER PROTECT A WOMAN … PROTECT HER FROM ABORTION – FROM ENEMIES LIKE THE FIRST AMENDMENT – PROTECT HER FROM THE DEMON’S MAGNET – … I MEAN GAY MARRIAGE.

FROM THE HIGH-COURT, ROVE COULD REMIND US OF THE SELF-EVIDENT TRUTHS OUR FOUNDING FATHERS FOUGHT TO FREE, REPRESENTED TODAY IN PLACES LIKE ABU GHRAIB AND SIX-FLAGS.

PLUS - CAN’T YOU JUST SEE KARL JUMPING JUDICIAL LIBERALS LIKE TOM CRUISE JUMPED OPRAH. NOW THAT WOULD BE A PATRIOT ACT.

SERIOUSLY - KARL WOULD TOPPLE TYRANNIES FROM ROE V. WADE TO BROWN V. THE BOARD OF EDUCATION – LETTING FREEDOM RING, BY SENDING ANYONE WITH A WEIRD NAME STRAIGHT TO GUANTANAMO – NO QUESTIONS ASKED.

THEN WE COULD ALL FINALLY JOIN HANDS TO SING FROM EVERY MOUNTAINSIDE - OR FROM THE NEAREST CLEAR-CHANNEL RADIO STATION - FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST, THANK GOD ALMIGHTY WE ARE FREE AT LAST … TO MAKE LISTS OF ANYONE WHO DISAGREES, KNOCK ON THEIR DOORS AT NIGHT AND YELL – SHUT UP OR BE SHOT.

FREEDOM IS NEVER FREE. HAPPY BASTILLE SIR.

 

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