Big Week Ahead

From: The Advisor
Date: 17 October, 2005
RE: MemoBig Week Ahead

Sir – first let me congratulate you on your visit to coastal Mississippi last week. Good work. By visiting that housing construction site to talk on TV while Black people behind you worked I think you effectively demonstrated your true regard for the Negro.

Now Mr. President, this week promises to be a big one. Results from the vote in Iraq, the nomination of Harriet Miers to the Supreme Court, and possibly some high level indictments relating to that probe into the CIA leak are all on the calendar.

Democrats. They never quit do they.

Anyway, as always the best defense is denial. And a catchy catch phrase. My suggestion this week: If challenged, repeat reality then bark, “Hush up liberal.”

Sir - Here’s how you can work this in. If someone questions you on Iraq, say, “Hey, Iraqis voted. Voted last week. At the polls. Polls for voters. Never been done. So hush up liberal.”

If someone questions you on Harriet Miers say, “Hey, she’s a woman. I picked a woman. A good woman. Good for the court. Otherwise why would I pick her for the Court?” Hold that thought for a moment, bob your head the way we practiced, then shift your weight. “So hush up liberal.”

Now the CIA probe is a little trickier. If special counsel, Patrick Fitzgerald indicts Scooter “the scootman” Libby or Carl “the roving rover” Rove, I think we need to get real, as I think the Black people would say.

First, we leak word that we have surveillance video of Fitzgerald meeting with fellow travelers in back-allies, public bathrooms, and other traditional liberal drop-points. Then we release our “list of names.” (Note to self – deliver the radio version of our list to Rush Limbaugh + Co.)

Now, if that doesn’t work I say we reveal what is already obvious from his name – that Fitzgerald is from France.

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